I still play Animal Crossing, but not nearly as much as I did during the height of the COVID pandemic. I still go in to collect bells or Nook Miles or whatever you can pick up along the way. I’ve made all the major milestones in the game, and picked up the latest DLC, which includes the Happy Home Paradise. One of the side trips is a fast trip to a random island that costs 1,000 Nook Miles. More than once I’ve come across small water features that look like dicks on the landscape. This one is a somewhat droopy dick. I bring this up because my island, which is named ClusterFck, was sanctioned by Nintendo over the name I’d given my island (and in which I take pride in). The only way they found out about it was when I submitted my little island as a dream. Here’s the content of Nintendo’s sanctioning email.

From: Nintendo <no-reply@accounts.nintendo.com>
Date: Mon, Jan 18, 2021 at 2:39 AM
Subject: Nintendo Account User Agreement Violation
To: [redacted email]

Nickname: Bill

Thank you for using Nintendo Switch.

Content you posted in-game has been deleted because it violates the Nintendo Account User Agreement, including the Nintendo Code of Conduct.

Title: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Content: A dream
Date/time posted: 01/17/2021 10:55:03 AM (UTC-05:00)

Violation:
Inappropriate and/or Harmful Content

This is Nintendo’s final decision.

If violations continue, other actions, such as restricting your usage of Nintendo Account services may be taken.

We appreciate your cooperation in creating an enjoyable online environment.

For more details, please refer to the Nintendo Account User Agreement, including the Nintendo Code of Conduct.

https://accounts.nintendo.com/term_chooser/eula

I named my island after my 20-plus years experience as a defense industry employee and what I’d experienced, especially in the last five or so years before my retirement. In spite of what the email says, the dream had been up for at least six months. My name is a cynical joke, nothing more. I would have spelled it out completely but for the fact there aren’t enough characters. This doesn’t stop Nintendo from taking my money every year, or allowing me to spend money on additional games.

If you think this isn’t titillating enough, then wait until the fall when in-game collectable elegant mushrooms start popping up underneath your islands’ trees. There’s some serious dicks for you.

I would like to do some font tweaking and maybe do some small layout changes, but to do that requires me to spend money to unlock those features. And I am, if nothing else, a cheap skate. For the most part I like the minimal amount of content surrounding my posts.

I did this when Barry called me to let me know he thought the last theme, Reddle, was getting a bit dated. And it was too busy. He reads my blog all the time and sends me private encrypted messages. Yeah. Really.

What do you mean, you don’t believe me?