my buddies at jp morgan

Got another one in the old e-waste basket today. Here is is in all its awesomeness (sarcasm), complete with spelling errors uncorrected.

From JP Morgan Chase Bank
Mr. James Dimon CEO
Address: 2469 Hempstead Turnpike
East Meadow, NY 11554-1155
Email Address: james.dimon.jpmorgan@gmail.com

Attn: Beneficiary,
The United States of America Co-operation Management in Conjunction with United Nation Worldwide are pleased to inform you that you are Among the 10 Winners of our Annual Year Lotto Lottery Conducted in the United Sates of America held on 14th of January 2014.
Your Email Address was Attached to Serial Number S/N-00221 and Consequently Won in the First Lucky 10 Winner’s Lottery Category.
You are therefore been Approved to claim the Sum of Usd$6,500.000.00 only (Six Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) only payable in wire Transfer from Jp Morgan Chase Bank New York City 2469 Hempstead Turnpike East Meadow, NY 11554-1155. Be informed that every arrangement regarding your payment through Telegraphic Wire Banking transfer has been made by our mangement.
You will have to re-confirm your full information which will be used to set up the account on your name here in the JP Morgan Chase Bank New York 2469 Hempstead Turnpike East Meadow, NY 11554-1155
Full Names:
Your Complete Address:
Scan copy of your personal identification
Direct Telephone Number:
Mobile Number:Present Occupation:
NOTE: That you are requested to claim your prize without any further delay.
Thanks for your Co-operation.
Mr. James Dimon CEO
Address: 2469 Hempstead Turnpike
East Meadow, NY 11554-1155

Email: james.dimon.jpmorgan@gmail.com

From
Mr. James Dimon
Manager JP Morgan Chase Bank.

Things must be really tough at JP Morgan when the best their CEO can do is a Google e-mail address.

from my friends in nigeria

I don’t normally pay attention to what lands in my Google mail spam folder. I’ll quickly scan the folder to make sure there are no false positives, remove the occasional few, then delete everything else. But once in a good long while an unusually titled email will hit that catches my attention.

In the past, on my old blog, I wrote maybe a half-dozen posts about some of the wilder and crazier scam/spam emails that came my way. The most creative was the one I received from the alleged estate of Luciano Pavarotti in 2009. That has to be one of my all-time favorites.

This latest hit my spam folder four days ago. From one perspective it’s your typical Nigerian spam email. But the sheer chutzpah in the way the email is written was worthy of a mention, if not a good laugh. Without further ado…

US AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA
Terence P. McCulley
11 GARKI ROAD ABUJA
ABUJA, NIGERIA.

Dear

I SHALL BE COMING TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR AN OFFICIAL MEETING ON WEDNESDAY AND I WILL BE BRINGING YOUR FUNDS OF $4.5M ALONG WITH ME AS PART OF COMPENSATION FROM THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA FOR THOSE AFFECTED IN SCAMS ACTIVITIES IN NIGERIA BUT THIS TIME I WILL NOT GO THROUGH CUSTOMS BECAUSE AS AN AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA, I AM A US GOVERNMENT AGENT AND I HAVE THE VETO POWER TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS. AS SOON AS I AM THROUGH WITH THE MEETING I SHALL THEN PROCEED TO YOUR ADDRESS. (SEND YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT ME TO BRING THE PACKAGE).

YOU HAVE REALLY PAID SO MUCH IN THIS DELIVERY THAT MAKES ME WONDER. YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY PERSON BECAUSE I SHALL BE BRINGING IT MYSELF AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

YOUR PACKAGE ($4.5M) MUST BE REGISTERED AS AN AMBASSADORIAL PACKAGE FOR ME TO DEFEAT ALL ODDS AND THE COST OF REGISTERING IT IS $90 THE FEE MUST BE PAID IN THE NEXT 50 HOURS VIA MONEY GRAM SO THAT ALL NECESSARY ARRANGEMENT CAN BE MADE BEFORE TIME WILL BE AGAINST US.SEND THE FEE VIA MONEY GRAM MONEY TRANSFER OR WESTERN UNION TO MY OFFICER

RECEIVER’S NAME: PAUL NWANZE
ADDRESS: LAGOS, NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: FOR WHAT
ANSWER: DELIVER
AMOUNT:$90

AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE FEE MAKE SURE YOU SEND ME THE PAYMENT THIS EMAIL INFORMATION.TO ADDRESS: terencemcculley443@yahoo.es MY FLIGHT IS WEDNESDAY AND I EXPECT YOU TO COMPLY BEFORE THEN SO THAT THE DELIVERY CAN BE COMPLETED. IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, THEN IT WILL NOT BE MY FAULT IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR PACKAGE.

Congratulations!!!
Respectfully yours,
Terence P. McCulley
US Ambassador to Nigeria
Email: terencemcculley443@yahoo.es

You see the email in all its glory, misspellings, grammatical errors, blatantly incorrect facts and UPPER CASE TYPE unchanged by me. If you want to follow-up on this then knock yourselves out. I just wonder how many people actually fell for this and donated the “$90 fee” to this particular scammer. And there has to be enough marks to have made similar donations, because they keep coming across my spam folder, and have for almost a decade.

By the way, the top level domain .es (as in yahoo.es) is Spain. Considering the dire financial straights that many in Spain find themselves in right now it shouldn’t be a surprise to find Nigerian copy-cat scam spam coming out of Spain.